| Apr. 25th, 2007 @ 12:28 pm (no subject) |
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Once every roughly 365 days, the earth orbits the sun. So basically, once every 365 days, you are physically back where you were a year ago (in cosmic terms). And the year before that. And the year before that.
Once every 365 days, you travel back in time. Basically, once every 365 days, you are mentally back where you were a year ago (in experience terms). And the year before that. And the year before that. But each trip back, there is something a little different. You don't quite remember precisely the events of that day. Sure you can remember the big points, but the little details become less focused. The nuance is more and more evasive.
The times were very different. The wonder drug, the one that brought so many back from the dead, was still 9 months from approval and general availability. Slipping on the tux or the suit to sing at another memorial service was a weekly occurrence. The icing on the cake for my 30th birthday was still moist.
I remember the phone call at the office, the hurried trip to the doctor's office, the results of the second test, my doctor's blunt questioning of "What the hell happened?". My asking how long I had. Her hesitantly optimistic answer. Leaving a stunned message on a friend's answering machine. Him taking me out to lunch so I wouldn't be alone. Trying to reach someone on BBS to let them know so they could take care of themselves. Nothing else remains.
Once every 365 days, I come back here. I'm lucky - I'm able to come back here. So many can't.
On the other 364 days, I forgot sometimes. More and more.
Once every 365, I come back here. But I don't dwell there for long. |
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